Selima Hill

from The Beautiful Man Whose Name I Can’t Pronounce



The Beautiful Man Whose Name I Can’t Pronounce


I can but it’s so beautiful I don’t.
I prefer to think it’s unpronounceable,

to go to bed and think of him as fruit
glimpsed at night by someone who is lost,

who walks for many days, weighed down by maps
and dictionaries and old pronunciation guides

until she’s so exhausted and confused
she can’t pronounce the name of where she’s going to,

never mind the name of the fruit
into whose fat cheeks she dreams she’s biting.



The People Who Still Call Themselves My Loved Ones


The people who still call themselves my loved ones
wouldn’t even know me if they saw me –

I’ve disappeared, I’ve gone, I’ve left no trace
except the footprints of a large bear,

the kind of bear who finds a small child
and drags her off into the undergrowth,

never to be heard of again –
or, if she is, she’s said to be mute.


*


from Billy



Expensive French Cheeses


He brings me some expensive French cheeses
made from the milk of tiny human mothers

fed on hare in isolated villages
where little girls grow up to be beatified.



Trolley


He’s like a patient propped up on a trolley
who doesn’t want to know he’s going home;

who can’t, or won’t, respond to the arms
trying and failing to help him.



What We Need to Think About


Eating cake is all very well
but what we need to think about is money –

money, which is God’s way of helping us
tear each other to pieces overnight.



Badger


He’s like a badger hunting in the moonlight
who’s fed up to the teeth with eating worms;

who doesn’t want to think about the future
and doesn’t want to think about the past;

who knows he ought to ‘live in the present’
but doesn’t want to have to live here either.


*


from Biro


My Uncle’s Kitchen


I can’t see any food. Only chopping-boards,
a marble slab and rows of tea and coffee-pots.
Beyond the kitchen, in the scullery,
the housekeeper is reading Deuteronomy.
I peer at her like a lone explorer
peering at a body locked in ice.
Then we hear the tinkle as my uncle,
far away, tinkles his bell.
The housekeeper tells me the butler
is useless as a slug in a cardigan.



The Baths


My uncle likes to visit The Baths
where people go to sit and dream, like lizards,
or numbers in the depths of mathematics,
lost, at ease, in chanceries of steam;
where people go to tell each other stories
in languages the young no longer speak.


*


from The Man in the Quilted Dressing-gown



His Mugs of Coffee


Although the mugs of Maxwell House coffee,
the Garibaldi biscuits and the florentines

brighten up his days to some extent,
they neither will nor can keep at bay

this feeling that there’s something wrong, that something,
however small, has not yet been addressed.





 

The Anaesthetist
    19     The Anaesthetist
    19     The Banker
    19     The Care Worker
    20     The Chauffeur
    20     The Childhood Sweetheart
    20     The Classics Teacher
    21     The Cousin
    21     The Dancer
    21     The Dentist
    22     The Doctor
    22     The Doctor of Philosophy
    22     The Driver
    23     The Duke
    23     The Entomologist
    23     The Ex
    24     The Farmer
    24     The Father
    24     The Film Director
    25     The Finn
    25     The Friend
    26     The Gardener
    26     The Geek
    26     The Great-grandfather
    27     The History Teacher
    27     The Man Who Sits in Saunas
    27     The Married Man
    28     The Mathematician
    28     The Monk
    28     The Nurse
    29     The Opera Singer
    29     The Painter
    30     The Patient
    30     The Photographer
    30     The Poacher
    31     The Retired Solicitor
    31     The Sailor
    31     The Son
    32     The Supply Teacher
    32     The Tennis Coach
    33     The Tennis Player
    33     The Tractor Driver
    33     The Treasurer
    34     The Uncle
    
The Beautiful Man with the Unpronounceable Name
    37     Standing on His Doorstep
    37     A Happy-looking Man
    38     The Beautiful Man Whose Name I Can’t Pronounce
    38     Never Go Upstairs in the Daytime
    39     In the Tiny House
    39     The People Who Still Call Themselves My Loved Ones
    40     The Toes of the Woman I’ve Never Met
    40     A Café We Could Go To
    40     God’s Gift to Wasps
    41     A Cup of Tea
    41     The Face of the Woman I’ve Never Met
    42     Never Even Hope
    42     A Woman, a Cyclist and a Teapot
    43     The Nose of the Woman I’ve Never Met
    43     Hating Me Would Be a Waste of Time
    44     What Kind of a Woman Am I?
    44     The Word Marriage
    44     Baby
    45     I’m Never Going to Think of Him Again
    45     Bicycles and Tricycles
    45     Krasznahorkai, Djokovic, Leghorn
    46     They Said It Would Be Hard
    46     Eating Potatoes in the Shed
    47     The Cake
    47     European Night Train Guides
    48     Spearmint Freshbreath Mouth-freshening Beads
    48     I Hear or Think I Hear on Moonlit Nights

Billy
    51     My Mother’s Extraordinary Hair
    51     What It Feels Like to Talk to Him
    51     The Plateau Phase
    52     Stone
    52     Crab
    52     Jelly
    52     Raging Torrents, Soaring Peaks
    53     Rain
    53     I Try to Please Everyone
    53     The Woman with the Broken Leg
    54     Honey
    54     Sheep
    54     The Sun in All Its Glory
    55     His Childhood
    55     Romance
    55     Restaurant
    56     The Long Wait
    56     Skinny-dipping
    56     The Married Couple
    57     The Gents
    57     Other Members’ Towels
    57     Expensive French Cheeses
    58     Brandysnaps
    58     Everyone Is Watching
    58     Friendship
    59     As We Leave
    59     The Compliment
    59     Prawn Cocktails
    60     Me and Juan Martín del Potro
    60     Doll
    60     A New Pair of Fleece-lined Gloves
    61     Sitting as Still as I Can
    61     Baby
    61     The Red-haired Swimmer
    62     The Tea Is Cold
    62     Fancy Cakes
    62     Pain
    63     Teabag
    63     The Jolly Sailor
    63     Shopping
    64     My Life as a Pair of Crocs
    64     The Extra-large Crab Sandwich
    64     The Sea
    65     On the Beach
    65     Kindness
    65     Trolley
    66     Dinner
    66     Piglets
    66     The Surgeon’s Ring
    66     Walking Back to Happiness
    67     Sadness
    67     Hollyhock
    67     Chihuahuas
    68     God
    68     The Brunette
    68     The Tea Is Never Hot Enough
    69     Teddy
    69     Chickens
    69     Pink-and-white Fairy-cakes
    70     Furniture
    70     Semolina
    70     Buttered Toast
    71     The Warmth of the Knife
    71     Teapot
    71     Sand
    72     Midge
    72     Cupcake
    72     Every Time He Hurts Me I Tell Myself
    73     The Man Who Never Smiles
    73     Chocolate Pudding
    73     His Mother’s Dog
    74     Table
    74     Poodle
    74     The Buffalo
    75     Bucket
    75     What We Need to Think About
    75     Hand
    76     Corridor
    76     The Smile
    76     Solutions
    77     Photographs of Women with Straight Hair
    77     Ammonia
    77     In Giant Shorts
    78     The Plan
    78     Him and Me
    78     The Currant Bun
    79     A Person Who Is More Amenable
    79     Armadillo
    79     Giraffes
    80     Battleships
    80     My Idea of Fun
    80     Coffee-pot
    81     Thirty Murdered Women
    81     Two Bananas and a Frog
    81     The Good Fortune of the Man Sitting Opposite Me
    82     Badger
    82     Mount Fuji
    83     Pig
    83     My Mother’s Car
    83     Oxygen
    84     Life and Death
    84     I Used to Cry
    84     Electroencephalographs
    85     A Normal Person
    85     His New Bobble-hat
    85     Prayer
    86     Other People’s Noses
    86     Little Billy
    86     Rhinoplasty
    87     Golden Sands
    87     Hospital
    87     A Racehorse Called Rhododendron
    88     Sunshine
    88     Duty Doctor
    88     Profiteroles
    89     The Visitor
    89     Ears
    89     Mother R
    90     The Hospital at Night
    90     Kilimanjaro, Kilimanjaro, Kilimanjaro

Biro
    93     The Visitor
    93     Like a Man Who’s Never Been in Love
    93     Rectitude
    94     My Uncle and Me in the Tobacconist’s
    94     My Uncle’s Drawing-room
    95     My Uncle’s Kitchen
    95     The Billiard Room
    96     My Uncle’s Bentley
    96     My Uncle’s Vegetable Garden
    97     My Uncle’s Blazer
    97     Newts
    97     A Housekeeper, a Butler and a Horse
    98     Brothers
    98     The Baths
    99     My Uncle’s Mother
    99     My Uncle Plays the Piano
    99     More than Seven European Languages
    100     Artichoke
    100     Poppet
    101     Silverfish
    101     Hotel Wellingtonia
    102     Doll
    102     The King
    103     The Illustrated Guide to British Moths
    103     Chocolate Sardines
    103     Vivarium
    104     When Biro Barks
    104     Doctor
    104     The Bell
    105     My Uncle’s Horse
    105     Cow
    106     The Doctor
    106     Photograph of a Baby
    107     Key
    107     The Word Jodhpurs
    107     Berries
    108     Spiders
    108     My So-called Personality Disorder
    108     What to Wear on Horseback
    109     Fathead
    109     My Uncle’s Bedroom
    110     Cheerfulness
    110     Ostriches

The Man in the Quilted Dressing-gown
    113     His Hairy Ears
    113     His Semolina
    114     His Most Precious Possession
    114     His Incomparable Picnics
    115     His Stony Silence
    115     His Slender Ankles
    116     His Little Rest
    116     His Missing Spectacle-case
    117     His Passion for Musicals
    117     His Itchy Fingers
    117     His Curvy Ladies
    118     His Dusty Dressing-gown
    118     His Useful Walking-stick
    119     His Toasty Socks
    119     His Shaky Hands
    120     His Love of Opera
    120     His Pinks
    120     His Starry Nights
    121     His Enormous Feet
    121     His Victoria Sponge
    122     His Big Blue Face
    123     His Bushy Hair
    123     His Mugs of Coffee
    124     His Sticky Florentine

Ornamental Lakes Seen from Trains
    127     Sandy Hollows, Godless Pines
    127    The Pit of His Stomach
    128     His Eyes
    128     Californian Waffles
    129     Warmth
    129     His Hand
    130     Man on a Lawn
    130     Chickens
    130     The Height
    131     The Golden Pennies
    131     You Either Love a Person or You Don’t
    132     Sauerkraut
    132     Chicken Thigh
    132     Windowpane
    133     The Eerie Llama
    133     The Chair
    133     My Horse-hoof Soup
    134     Castle
    134     Fear of Coffee
    135     Wedding Cake
    135     The Tank
    136     Bitter Chocolates on a Silver Tray
    136     The Mourner
    137     Why I Love Gyrocopters
    137     The Tall Man
    138     One Morning in July
    138     Ornamental Lakes as Seen from Trains

Shoebill
    141     Elbow
    141     Snowdrop
    142     Hare
    142     It’s Like a Dream
    143     Pig
    143     Bird
    144     The Wall
    144     The Edge of Town
    145     Mole
    145     Watcher
    146     You Hold Me in Your Lap
    146     Your Hair Against My Back
    147     Fish
    147     Skinny as a Rake
    148     Sandbag
    148     Ugly
    149     Like the Flightless Birds
    149     Goblin
    150     The Love of Your Life
    150     Mice
    151     The Coat
    151     Hands
    152     The Hospital in Winter
    152     Cats with Spots
    153     Suitcase
    153     Your Beautiful Long Hair
    154     You Tell Me That You Love Me
    154     The House
    155     The Moth at Night
    155     Cake
    156     Bedside-locker Pig Farm
    156     Frosty Weather
    157     Dot
    157     Summertime
    

 

‘Selima Hill is a unique voice in contemporary British poetry, as the title of her latest collection — I May Be Stupid But I’m Not That Stupid — implies, there is more to her than meets the eye. Her poetry is eclectic and electric; it cartwheels through juxtapositions and leaps of logic, and, as Proust opined, thanks to her poetry the world we see, through her art, is multiplied. Seemingly mundane subjects, such as farmyards and country life, are painted with new layers of vivid colour, forever fracturing a new world from the old…. I May Be Stupid But I’m Not That Stupid is an entertaining collection from a complex, warmly welcome poet. Highly recommend.’ – Charlie Baylis, The London Magazine

'Selima Hill's Jutland has an astounding vivacity. Hill is a complete original whose body of work is unique in British poetry and this volume is an example of her at her best. Jutland consists of two extended sequences: Advice on Wearing Animal Prints, a kaleidoscope of shifting perspectives presenting the character Agatha, and Sunday Afternoons at the Gravel-pits, portraying a little girl and her father. Each poem tells an uncomfortable truth, through fireworks of surreal images. Every image is a surprise, sometimes funny, usually shocking, but at the same time archetypal as a brand new fairy-tale, and all this is achieved with crystalline brevity.’ – Pascale Petit, chair of the 2015 T.S. Eliot Prize judges

‘Every page reveals her unique ability to invert the world and shake it, until it reveals its truth.’ – Kathleen Jamie & Maurice Riordan, PBS Bulletin

‘Hill is a unique voice in British poetry, handling central subjects with wit, great metaphorical beauty, and deep clarity. Her two most characteristic features, the off-the- wall images and no-holds-barred straight talk, work flawlessly together.’ – Ruth Padel & Sean O’Brien, PBS Bulletin

In a searching, wide-ranging and often very funny exchange, Selima Hill talks to Poetry Review editor Emily Berry about being both a prolific writer and a private person, about secrecy and rebellion, embodiedness and encodedness. Her writing process is, she says, less about cutting ('which sounds so violent') and rather like 'lifting your hair – loosen, loosen, then tighten, tighten, tighten – spread it as far as you can, then tighten'. They discuss relationships with family, men, audiences, Eastern European literature and animals, including Hill’s pet giant land snail. She also describes how her diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, her experiences in psychiatric hospital, and periods of muteness have affected her writing. Hill gives vivid readings of all of her poems published in the winter 2020 issue of The Poetry Review, including ‘Standing on his doorstep’, ‘Jelly’ and ‘Berries’, from Men Who Feed Pigeons.