Wayne Holloway-Smith interviews & reviews & books of the year
Love Minus Love recommended in the New Statesman (twice); plus reviews, & Books of the Year features. TS Eliot Prize coverage in Sunday Times & on The Verb. Interview...
in the morning all of her pain
is trying to happen at the top of its voice
drivers shutting off engines at the bus stop
hanging out their cracked-open doors blue jackets
this woman too old to be my mother or she’s not
too dressed in a felt hat & cashmere or she isn’t
traffic is backing up along the road now
a small then big crowd making itself up around her body
and she is reaching her fingers right down inside herself
to pull it all up for everyone to see
a botched magic trick
flowers stuck inside her throat
there are things like this I’m worried I can’t stop
a static black cab’s engine like a drumroll
absolute sadness I cannot prevent
an enormous wrench and she comes up empty nothing
but her palms are on her knees and she’s slow dry-heaving
this woman does not have my mother’s mouth or she does
all of her pain is trying to happen at the top of its voice
a botched magic trick
meanwhile rabbits growing out the eyes of a child
and the woman holding its hand fistfuls of rabbits
white and black fur bloating in everyone
* * *
your dad randy and playful
slapping your half-cut mum’s
bum on the sofa
the one cherished thing
you are able to hold in the bin of childhood
with the lid up for as long as possible
slamming it shut just before
his clumsiness the both of them
your mother a little too hard laughing off the awkwardness of her
middle finger
snapped
* * *
the posh mums are boxing in the square
roughing each other up in a nice way
this is not the world into which I was born
so I’m changing it
I’m sinking deep into the past and dressing my own mum
in their blue spandexes
svelte black stripes from hip to hem
and husbands with better dispositions toward kindness
or at least I’m giving her new lungs
I’m giving her a best friend with no problems and both of them pads
some gloves to go at each other with in a nice way
I’m making it a warm day for them but also
I’m making it rain
the two of them dapping it out in long shadows
I’m watching her from the trees grow
strength in her thighs my mum
grow strength in her glutes my mum
her back taut upright
her knees
and watching her grow no bad thing in her stomach no tumour
her feet do not hurt to touch my mum she is hopping
sinews are happening
wiry arms developing their full reach
no bad thing explodes
sweat and not gradual death I’m cheering
no thing in her stomach no alcohol
no cigarettes with their crotonaldehyde let my dad keep those
no removal of her womb
– and I’m cheering her on in better condition
cheering she is learning to fight for her own body
in spandex her new life
and though there is no beef between them
if her friend is gaining the upper hand
I will call out from the trees
her name
Christine!
and when she turns as turn she must
my mum in the nicest possible way
can slug her right in the gut
Related Reviews
'A vital book about working class identity.' – Andrew McMillan on Alarum, his Winter Guest Selection for the Winter 2017 PBS Bulletin, on Alarum
'Alarum is enviably good... Hilarious and witty, it’s also terrifically sad, but wears its tragedy so lightly at first it’s hard to notice.' – John Challis, The Poetry School
‘Witty, modern and remarkably original, Alarum shows us what contemporary poetry can be and where it can go.’ – Jennifer Wong, The Poetry Review